nicedildo

glutenfreevodka:

witch-boots:

butchimightbe:

This actually exists. In 2014. I have a Canadian partner, I am mid transition…I knew I had to be careful but holy shit. This actually terrifies me. How does this make any sense? Why do gender markers even exist on photo ID’s?

NOPE FUCK THIS

But y’all wanna move to Canada… Such a utopia right

what in the fuck? you’ve gotta be kidding me..

happy-little-kid
semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

nicedildo

modestdemidov:

why do you care if people have tattoos and piercings or if people don’t wanna shave their legs or who people wanna fuck with

literally why do you care what someone else does with their own body if they’re not hurting anyone

it doesn’t affect you and there are a lot better things for you to actually give a fuck about

y’all got to work on your fucks budget, spend your fucks more wisely

ration all y’alls fucks

youshouldtextme
cassbones:

katdiamandis:

various-voices:

willwin92:

gracetrolbig:

magickowl:

myreticentvale:

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

why has this not got any notes 

a middle school girl commited suicide here a few days ago..she was 14..

my followers know who this is for.

two of my close friends attempted multiple times

i attempted around this time last year. keep this going.

Today, personally, this is for Robin Williams.
But for today, and every day, it is for anybody who has ever lost anybody to suicide and anybody who has been lost themselves.
I know it probably doesn’t help, but I am so, so sorry.
RIP

cassbones:

katdiamandis:

various-voices:

willwin92:

gracetrolbig:

magickowl:

myreticentvale:

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

why has this not got any notes 

a middle school girl commited suicide here a few days ago..she was 14..

my followers know who this is for.

two of my close friends attempted multiple times

i attempted around this time last year. keep this going.

Today, personally, this is for Robin Williams.

But for today, and every day, it is for anybody who has ever lost anybody to suicide and anybody who has been lost themselves.

I know it probably doesn’t help, but I am so, so sorry.

RIP